Does one simply love their cheekbones? Or must they learn, first. I’m finding it hard to move away from ‘freakishly hollow’. I remember when they weren’t so apparent, though I was younger then.
I am left to wonder if it’s simply the way my face has become through life. My mother says I have my father’s bone structure.
I’m trying to at least bare with the things that make me cringe and feel so self-conscious.
I don’t feel like my previous ‘home’ for my journal is much that safe anymore. It doesn’t have that feeling of security, or journalisms. I don’t and didn’t want to make my tumblr into a journal, but I feel like without trying, it has morphed into a photoalbum of my soul, snippets of my thoughts and life — even without my words added to it.
I am contemplating my tumblr as my journal, with cut/read more personal entries. Nothing more than what’s already here, but perhaps admitting to myself that I ‘need’ this place to let go of bottled thoughts, will help me do so.
Will help me say “today I want to vanish from the world” without guilt. I have no other place to say these words.
My hands cannot keep up with my scrolling thoughts enough for my [written]journal as I would like, and I am much to restless to write for hours there (not to mention very OCD and cannot write without pink pens which I am always losing, so I refuse to write a word).
I don’t know why I am writing this now. Perhaps as a sort of crappy “prelude” for a new start in the same blog, journal, dreamy-land of my mind.
I’m brandie and I dream here.
Not feeling too well today, probably dehydrated. I’m not napping well, either. My heart beat feels like it’s shaking my whole body, and I keep getting lightheaded when I stand up. My mom said when she went to take my dad to get cigarettes and some food for dinner she would pick me up some Gatorade or powerade— I should go see if she did …I hope it’s the right ones.
Thank goodness for mommas ♥
thank you for the sweetness, lovely birds. i’m going to lay down, maybe take some xanax, and hopefully go back to bed. tut.
How is it I work only four hours today, and still leave feeling like a worthless piece of fuck.. or at least like I need to throw up my entire inner workings.
Dear god please make me a bird.
drinking, eating, and beating the shit out of people vicariously.
summer Saturdays at their best
favorite guy, favorite movie ♥twenty days until he’s here forgood.
thank you jackie and nella. i won’t be going back. i refuse to go back regardless if that man is working or not. that place doesn’t need to get my money, and I sure as fuck won’t be wanting to give it back to them. I have no want to go there - and really glad it wasn’t my firstexperience there.
I’m just upset at the whole thing. I feel like a freak where ever I go.
Ushayo, I’ll be sure to only bring you places that feel safe in my gut.
I want to go home.
I am trying not to get upset, “triggered” in many ways, and completely stop leaving my house.
Awkward.
I’m stepping out with a friend for a bit and had to throw on clothes obviously. I feel strange.
feeling absolutely no good.
all my thoughts and feelings and wonders are bottled up. i wish i thought someone cared enough to let them out. this is a pointless tumblr.
it’s my own. in all ways, and yet i want to delete this. it’s completely useless to myself and everything.
redlineredout replied to your link: ask me anything.
how do you like your eggs?
you’re asking me this seriously? I can never tell with you… hah hah.
Uh, ‘runny’ or scrambled. When I’m feeling brave I put eggs in my cheese some cheese in them… I’m not picky, as long as they aren’t made with butter, oil, or milk. I use spray stuff and only salt and pepper (and hot sauce!) :)
Brandi/e. 23. Female.
engaged ♥
Don't kill me; I'm in ℒℴѵ є
I'm the utmost definition of a Dreamer, ever since I opened my eyes. That's what you'll find here. My world and life as a dreamer. Inside my world is beautiful, and I can never get enough of it. Nothing is perfect, but so much can be beautiful with an open heart and open eyes.
I'm always dreaming. I'm nothing special, and have enough loathing for myself to last me through all lifetimes.
This is my 'blog'. My dreams and thoughts. They might be posted by myself, or reblogged, but they are my thoughts and feelings and 'story'. I don't want to influence or hurt anyone with anything that could be negative.
(also, hey! this is the internet so, I don't need to tell you that none of these images are mine alone. I find them all over the place. If you specially own them, let me know ♥)
