Going out with Ushayo. Never got to wear this top before, but he bought it for me back in the winter - I don’t remember where but its another Korean brand. Which are clearly my fave.
Pictures with necklace because I forgots.
My phone thinks the letter C constitutes the auto correction of Zelda automatically. I’m not sure how any of that correlates.
my friends are posting pictures of their new babies all over facebook with all their fanfuckingtastic mommy stories and i’m over here like “Look at my princess cat isn’t she so amazing! I got her a new organic kitty food that she just LOVES I’m the best mom ever ♥”
NO BUT REALLY forgetting Molly is not an Actual Real girl-child.
when i take off the pretty-things, the push-up bras and lacey things, the clothes that hide me from myself — when i strip off the disguise, I see myself. Probably more clear than I have in a long while. My body is not filled out like the shirts lie, ‘sexy’ like the cleavage and “fake” breasts lie. Abnormally flat and hidden bones under clever pairs of shorts and sweats that have known me in ‘better times’.
It’s a disguise for myself, to myself, that I often ignore all too greatly, that it startles me when i see - when i am able to see - it. How did you do this to yourself, girl? What pushed you so far, child? To become a child-figure of a woman. Alien and foreign and nausea and new to the touch every day, a new angle a new curve a new worry.
Hidden in a bulk that lullabies your worries, that it is fine. To worry at night, and disregard during the day - to take your anger on your body and mind and cover it from yourself, and cry and shame yourself when others take notice. they can see it? or are they exaggerating? i can’t see it. but when i do, the sun is gone and people are asleep and no one wants to be woken up by a Something that might be a little mad.
To just want to say I’m scared and don’t mean to , but I can’t stop. I hate it all and i can’t stop. And I hate the way it saps my life and makes me a monster and makes me a child and makes me nothing and I can’t stop. To hold me till it’s gone and I see the fear I need to see. To hold me and love me and please just love me for what I still am. I hope you see who I still am.
I want to go on a movie date. A dreamers date. A faraway place laced with a good dream.
My body is really sore. I’m tired, and have a dentist appointment later..and it’s so tempting to just cancel and drive elsewhere.
gpoy gpoy gpoy.
(via vegancandy)
The best thing is when I take a nap on Sundays after work and wake up with palps and my heart in my throat. That’s the bestttt.
What a day.
rydiahighwind replied to your photo: i’m always told if you’re going through hell you…
my darling, you are lovely. some days, going means brushing you hair and putting on a clean shirt. for me today it means eating a peanut butter sandwich and sleeping in until 2pm. take your victories where you can find them.
i love you, and think you are just so great. thank you for your encouraging words <3 I’m telling myself that getting up alone is a stride, and brushing my hair and putting on clothing is the conquer. Life will go on, because I refuse otherwise. When I stand up for myself, I have a strength that nothing else could ever give me - and why would i want to throw that away? So thank you <3
i’m always told if you’re going through hell you need to keep going and shit, but right now all I can think is ‘well I brushed my hair and this shirt is clean.’ and that counts, right?
there are loud sounds and strange men in the house. i am trying to escape soon, and make my mood better. i feel so large in the big world, which is feeling much smaller when i think about my mental size - which in turn makes me feel rather miniscule and unimportant in such an equally too-large-but-just-right world.
Irritated that I have meltdowns about my soup being gross.
Brandi/e. 24. Female.
engaged ♥
Don't kill me; I'm in ℒℴѵ є
I'm the utmost definition of a Dreamer, ever since I opened my eyes. That's what you'll find here. My world and life as a dreamer. Inside, my world is beautiful, and I can never get enough of it. Nothing is perfect, but everything can be a little more peaceful a little more beautiful.
I'm always dreaming. I'm nothing special, and have enough selfloathing to last me a lifetime- but I will always be a dreamer.
This is my 'blog'. My dreams and thoughts. I post and reblog things that tell my story, are familiar to me, or spreak my soul.
I also do not promote, or wish to influence anyone negatively so please, if you do not like me, or blog or feel triggered by anything, please leave - and do so quietly. The world is dramatic enough.
